LOVE IS...

Love Is…

Few years ago, I think I would have given my right foot out just to argue that love indeed is a feeling. How could anything as great as Love be a choice?

By the time I had that one lecture where the lecturer someway, somehow said it again - Love is a choice and not a feeling - I had heard enough of the statement to motivate me to learn more about what it meant for love to be a choice.

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There are very many definitions of what the word could mean:

-         A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone;

-         A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend;

-         A feeling of strong or constant regard for and dedication to someone.

All these of course could describe what love is but could they really be said to define what Love is? What happens when that strong feeling of affection isn’t there? Could it still be said that we no longer love?

Oh, feelings are important definitely, but they should not be used as a basis or yard stick to make our decisions.

Here’s what the Bible has to say:

“Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal…”

(1Corinthians 13:4-8, GNB)

For every time I read this verse, I laugh and I’m reminded that I haven’t gone half way in this love journey. For starters, I don’t wake up every morning with the “feeling” of been patient or kind. I definitely do not want or “feel” like looking past the wrongs of other people; I mean I’m not the one with the problem, others are! And yet, Love is not selfish.

With this, I’ve come to realize that those who admit that love is a choice are right in describing it as such, rather than a mere feeling which is liable to change at any given opportunity.

So to love is a choice.

A choice to be patient, and never give up;

A choice to be kind and care for others more than self;

A choice to not be jealous, conceited, proud or ill-mannered;

A choice to not have a swelled head or force oneself on others;

A choice to always put others first and not “me first”;

A choice to not fly off the handle or keep the score of the sins of others;

A choice not to revel when others grovel;

A choice to take pleasure in the flowering of truth;

A choice to put up with anything;

A choice to trust God always;

A choice to always look for the best in others and never look back;

A choice to keep going to the end

(Read 1Corinthians 13:4-7, MSG)

Like every other thing in our lives, love is not just a decision we make today and then go to sleep thinking that it will just “work out”. It’s a decision we must make every day and it needs our effort for it to thrive. If we are willing to make this love journey a success, then we should also be willing to put in every bit of ourselves in order to see something beautiful stem from it.

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Remember though that love isn’t something set aside only for that “special someone”, or else how about those who don’t have some “special someone”?

Love is for your father, your mother, your sister, your brother, your pet, the security guard, the neighbours, your colleagues at work…love is for the beggar, the depressed, the lonely, the helpless, the sick. Love is for you.

Here’s a bit of a challenge for the month. Cut out and make small paper cards, and on each of them write what love is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for each day. Write a short verse that reminds you of what the love virtue of the day is. Then behind, write down the definition of that virtue.

This will help you stay sure of what it means to be kind or what it means to be patient.

Every aspect of what love is goes hand in hand. So when you are on day 3 and practicing what it is to be unselfish, do not also forget to be patient and kind as well to those you meet.

Of course, this walk is not one we can do on our own or without help, so here’s a little prayer to start you off:

Dear Jesus,

I’m thankful that You’ve opened my eyes to see that unlike You, I can’t love those You’ve brought my way without any conditions. Thank You for bringing me to this point where I have to depend on You to love unconditionally. For each day I choose to love and embark on this journey, help me to look to You only, the author and finisher of my faith.

I know it will not be an easy walk, but You haven’t called me to choose the easy way. You have called me to be set apart. Help me to love as You love and help me to be ……………………… (put in what your love challenge is for that day) to/with all those whom I may come in contact with today.

Holy Spirit, I need You. Help me.

Amen.

One more thing! Remember, it is not about our feelings, but a faith that all things will work together for our good.

“For our life is a matter of faith, not of sight [or of feelings]” – (2Corinthians 5:7, GNB)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)